


What if?

by Bacner



Category: Avengers (Marvel Movies), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Buffy the Vampire Slayer - fandom, MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crossover, Black Widow undercover, Drabble, Faith meets Black Widow, Gen, Hydra (Marvel), S.H.I.E.L.D. (Marvel), minimum violence for Faith and the Hulk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 21:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21022727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/pseuds/Bacner
Summary: A crossover AU - Faith runs into the Hulk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lila_luscious1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/gifts).

> Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, but belong to Joss Whedon and co., or to Marvel comics.

S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agent Quartermain was not having a good day. Then again, because the Hulk was involved, he wasn’t having a very good week either. And this strange new development had just made things worse.

“Miss,” he said firmly. “For the last time, step away from the Hulk – I mean, Dr. Banner.” (It seemed that his luck was finally changing for the Hulk was being Dr. Banner for once.)

The girl, however, didn’t comply, but just stared at the SHIELD agent in a rather cross way, that made the taller man almost step back. Almost.

“Look,” the girl exclaimed with a definite New English accent. “It’s not that I don’t have anything against you personally, it’s just a compilation of several factors – it’s my time of the month and I’ve been chased by a lot of vampires and if it wasn’t for Big Green here I would’ve been a goner, and now, when I have finally seem to have caught a break, here comes you and your arrogance. I’m not exactly resisting, per se, to you taking Big Green into custody, I’m just saying-“

“Miss,” Quartermain had enough. “We’re taking the Hulk into custody no matter what you do or say-“

“Oh really?” a strange look came into the girl’s dark eyes. “Let’s make a bet, Mr. Special Agent Man: if there is something that I can do to prevent you into taking Big Green into custody. If I can’t, then you can take him into custody and me along for the ride, if you care. And if I can, then you, well, don’t take him into custody and gave us several hours’ worth of running time. How about that, Agent Arrogance?”

Quartermain felt his eyebrows rise from the sheer impossibility of this. “All right,” he said flatly, “you’re on. Let’s shake on it.”

“Let’s,” the girl nodded, shaking the agent’s hand with one of her own and picking up a modest-sized stone with another. “And now-“

What happened then could only be called ridiculous, for a girl, who threw a stone so hard, that it sheared right through the base of the helicarrier’s rotor blades, causing them then to fall down due to their own weight, effectively grounding the aircraft, could only be called ridiculous or impossible.

“There!” the girl said smugly, “told you I could do something. Now pack up, Big Green, we’re off to see Mr. Giles regarding some mystical psychic chirurgery.”

“Are you sure that it will work?” Banner asked, with more hope than he had felt for a long time.

“Honestly? No,” the girl admitted, “but you got nothing to lose, if I understood you correctly before Secret Agent Man and his posse had showed up. If worst comes to worst, they can put you into custody instead. Is that fair?”

“Yes,” Bruce Banner nodded, and the two of them left, leaving agent Quartermain and the rest of his crew starring helplessly both at them and at the grounded helicarrier...


	2. What if #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith meets Black Widow, (who's undercover). It doesn't go down too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to their respective owners.

“...And then the bloody bastard Hawkeye just tied me there and left. Left, I tell you! For a self-proclaimed hero, he certainly isn’t very heroic, is he?!” Black Widow gave her interlocutrix a look.

Faith stared right back. She was quite aware that a self-proclaimed hero can be as practical as the next villain... but she didn’t have much luck when it came to redheads; whether it was Big Boss’s former second-in-command, or B’s little computer geek, Faith and redheads just clashed, like a colour-blind man’s wallpaper and carpets.

“So, what do you want from me?” she spoke finally. “If you want to put a hit on his head, go to the Taraka, or at least Wolfram & Hart – I am a bit restricted in my movements for the moment, what with me being in jail and all.”

“Well, that can change,” Black Widow smiled dryly. “I am sure that my superiors at Hydra can negotiate something-“

“This brings us to our current meeting. What do they want to negotiate from me?”

“Your blood.”

“Pardon?” Faith began to rise from her seat. As a Vampire Slayer, she got a bit testy when the b-word was mentioned (and she wasn’t talking about the elder Vampire Slayer, either).

“Just a vial,” Black Widow said quickly, as she found Faith’s facial expression disturbing, as if this wasn’t quite a barely pubescent girl... in prison, but still. “Nothing more. We will be able to synthesize it, once we get it... so you better start negotiating now.”

Faith wrinkled her head, deep in thought. “You want my blood for its healing properties, et cetera. Fair enough. Hey! Yo! Self-proclaimed Tower of Babel, come on in now!”

Into the room came... possibly an ogress. As tall as the Hulk, though somewhat narrower in the shoulders, she bore the gold eyes and jagged fangs of the vampire, and the look that she gave Black Widow made (the supposedly) Hydra’s assassin very nervous, at least.

“You’re double-crossing me,” she said, incredulously.

“Not exactly. Harmony may be an incurable gossip, but she’s smarter than she looks or sounds. Once she realized what she had slip through her loose lips, she contacted both her sire – that’s the giantess over here, giving you the wicked eye – who decided to back me up for the moment, and her superiors at Wolfram & Hart, whose representative had already talked about Hydra’s offer to me and advised me to not get involved with you, or else the consequences will be unpleasant. And I believe them. For over a decade, a better part of my life, the Watchers’ Council controlled my life, and I am a person who hates control. Therefore, I am not about to exchange the Council’s domination for Hydra’s, so feel free to tell your superiors that. Also, here’s a message from W&H, telling them, that if Hydra ever sends agents to their turf without a written notification, they will have to deal with Apollyon, and he’s already sour at you after you tried to weasel-out without paying him for the raw materials.”

“I could take you on,” Black Widow said, standing up.

“Yeah, you can. But not both me and her at the same time,” Faith jabbed her thumb at Harmony’s sire. “Please, know when to fold.”

For some reason, it was that ‘please’ that settled things for Hydra’s assassin/S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Instead of leaping into the action, she just took the message from W&H. “You haven’t seen the last of me or Hydra,” was all that she said instead.

“Fair enough, and it goes both ways, namely you haven’t seen the last of me or Big Red either,” Faith nodded, her thumb still pointing at the huge, and very unfriendly-looking, vampire.

...As prison’s doors closed behind her, Black Widow sighed. It was time to go to plan B – time to go to Sunnydale and confront the other Vampire Slayer directly.

_The end?_


End file.
